And so, January came and went.
It was a month of decisions.
So many different opportunities.
I was excited and overwhelmed at the same time.
Yes, confused. Very.
Everything has been going well in my professional and personal spheres in the past few months.
Yet, I did start to experience occasional mild emotional lows and a persistent inner restlessness that just wouldn’t go away.
So why did I feel this way?
Something deep down in my heart was changing.
I knew it.
It was nudging me to make some changes.
Changes I know that will impact my life direction greatly.
I have been a columnist contributing disability-related articles to the DiVine website for the past 2 years. There is nothing better than to be able to write articles and get paid to get them published on the world wide web especially when it is something you love doing. The experience has honed my skills in the craft of writing. However, I knew I could no longer do it. I sat down and wrote an an e-mail to the editor of the site. I explained that I had different goals to work towards and that it was time for me to move on. I appreciated her response thanking me for the commitment and efforts that I brought to DiVine, and wishing me the best of luck in all my endeavours.
A few days later, I rang the Arts Development Manager at Arts Access Victoria via the internet relay service. I told her that I might not be able to take on the contract of coordinating the Deaf kids’ writing workshops due to a change in my personal circumstances that would impact my ability to work on the project. She replied graciously saying that she understood without questioning further. For that, I am very thankful and relieved.
I have thoroughly enjoyed my role as an intern/volunteer with Deaf Arts Network (DAN) from May to December last year. It’s been wonderful working with various people in the organising of the workshops. Plans for the project are underway with just a string of other tasks waiting to be tackled. In all honesty, last year I had been looking forward to seeing the project to completion in August 2014. But something deep within tells me not to sign the paid contract for the role of the Deaf Kids’ Write workshops coordinator this year and to handball this role to someone else. A still small voice in my heart has been indicating that my time with DAN is up and it’s time to move on. Hence, I have made my decision.
The one thing I am grateful for is the opportunity to be involved in DAN initiatives as a Deaf writer since 2012. I have learnt so much from being involved in the Deaf writing workshops with Arnold Zable, and presenting at the “Through Deaf Eyes” performances at the Melbourne Writer’s Festival 2012 and the Emerging Writers’ Festival launch 2013. I am also thankful for the opportunity to have published a writing piece in The Emerging Writer Handbook 2013.
As I sense God’s leading to seek further studies and a career in the field of international development, I will now say goodbye to my involvement with DAN.
So there, I closed the door on two jobs.
At the same time, I have said “yes” to something else. That, I know is right for me which I will reveal down the track. 😉
I must say there is a lot in me that feels good and strong about these decisions – an inexplicable sense of peace and freedom. It also feels great to de-clutter my overloaded schedule and focus on what is right and important to me. My mind is no longer scattered in a million different directions.
What I have learnt is that when something starts to interfere with your priorities or callings, when it becomes more of an obligation than a genuine desire and when you no longer have the capacity to do it, it is time to let go. And also, just because something was right for me in the past, doesn’t mean it still is.
From now till June, I’ll be focusing on three things:
1. Working in 2 different schools as a Teacher of the Deaf replacing teachers on extended leave.
2. Something I’ve said “yes” to.
3. Finishing off 2 journalism subjects and 1 Scriptwriting unit at Deakin. I have decided to exit with a Graduate Diploma of Professional Writing instead of going through the entire Masters of Communication course for my own reasons.
I’m bracing myself for a busy 5 months ahead.
As to what will happen after June…
Stay tuned! 🙂